This morning in the city of Vindaloo a foreigner was found grievously injured in a rubbish heap on the edge of town. The broad-shouldered, ruggedly good-looking older male was identified as the galaxy renowned Comedian, and his presence within Janitoria's borders was a great surprise to the JIB (Janitorial Immigration Bureau). He was immediately transported to the St. Lulu's Celebrity Hospital in the nation's capital, Schnitzelvania, where he will remain until doctors are certain of his recovery. When asked about his chances, Doctor Thomas Tronberg commented, "He could well pull through, but I'm still trying to locate his second set of legs."
When informed about the suspected assault upon The Comedian, King Itor was very upset. "To think that such violence could occur in one of our nicer cities, it makes me very sad. It is most certainly the work of foreign interlopers." Speaking further, His Royal Highness insisted, "The Comedian will receive the best medical care that Janitorial medicine can offer, and when he is well he will stay at my palace as my guest."